The Stars Are Out Tonight - Oscars 2006

Jon Stewart Host of 78th Oscar Awards (2006)

Crash? BrokeBack Mountain? I'm just so nervous about this that I can hardly relax. Well, O.K., the truth is I really don't care, but I have been watching the runway show. I just like looking at the cute actresses in their revealing dresses. They've been starving themselves for months to slip into the most bone binding outfits designed.

I watched a short report on I believe it was CNN, or was it NBC, about how each star walks away with fifty thousand dollars in gifts given to them by various companies which hope that a star will slip on one of their watches, necklaces, etc. Man it must be nice.

I had an opportunity to rent Crash last night, and I missed it in the theater, but I ended up renting Dark Water instead. While the openning credits of Dark Water was playing I noticed the film was a touchstone picture. A sense of dread immediately came over me. Why did I waste my money on such a film I began to wonder. As I began to watch it I noticed it did not fit the average Disney production standards of blandness so I didn't immediately turn it off.

The show was well crafted, but predictible. Despite its cookie cutter like feel I still found it disturbing enough not to hand it over to my child to watch. It would be a show to watch during the day. It's not that scary, but it is disturbingly depressing. Not a show to end a day on.


Photo: Fashion Designer Isaac Mizrahi Works The Red Carpet for E

Oh yes, I was disappointed by E's redcarpet pre-oscar show. Apparently the interviewer, Isaac Mizrahi, was running his hands all over the actresses bossoms (for wardrobe adjustments only) during the Runway show for the Golden Globe Awards - but darn it if he was very constrained tonight!

The show has begun, and I'm watching Jon Stewart. It was funny watching the intro too. Many gay jokes already. Now Jon is doing some political jokes. More gay jokes.

Capote.

Racism, Corruption, Censorship it's why we go to the movies. Good line.

Another gay joke.

Nicole Kidman comes out to present an Oscar! Wow! She's so white - like a wedding cake. I can't really concentrate on what she's saying but wow! Very pretty!

You know when they play clips the scenes all look so good. George Clooney just won an award for supporting actor. He's up for several Oscars tonight. We'll have to wait and see how many he is awarded.

Clooney just said that he was proud to be out of touch (liberal). Good for him!

Commercial Time.

I have to admit that I did not plan to do a play by play of the Oscar Awards tonight. In fact I can't recall when I have ever watched the entire broadcast from start to finish, and tonight will not be an exception.

I just find it too boring, but I usually make it back in time for the big awards at the end.

Jon Stewart is back!

Funny skit with Tom Hanks getting shot with a knock out dart from a clarinet - an illustration of how the band is used to keep the Oscar winners from making their acceptance speeches too long.

Ben Stiller looking very weird in a green suit (Unitard?) announcing the Visual Effects Oscar winner. He is incredibly talented. Although I hated Zoolander!

King Kong wins it! King Kong was a good remake. My daugher cried at the end. I guess I had forgotten to warn her that the big guy gets it in the end.

Reese Witherspoon coming out on stage now. Love Her ever since she was in Man in the Moon! She's been so careful with her career, and she's so talented. She's introducing Best Animated Feature.

See! I knew it, I have to go, and take my daughter to her friend's house! Completely unplanned - but I knew something would come up!

The Curse of the Were Rabit Wins! People at work were talking about that.

Oh well this little experiment must end. My daughter must see some newborn kittens at her friends house.

Wow! Noami Watts! She's incredible. Yes, I know I must go!

I Have Returned. More Oscar Awards!

Best song? Not exactly sure what category, but the whole posse seems happy to be up on stage. Jon Stewart ask, "Why doesn't everyone seem as happy?", or something similar.

Djay f/ Shug - It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp Lyrics Chorus You know it's hard out here for a pimp - you ain't knowin When he tryin to get this money for the rent -you ain't knowin For the Cadillacs and gas money spent - you ain't knowin Because a whole lot of bitches talkin shit - you ain't knowin Will have a whole lot of bitches talkin shit - you ain't knowin Lyrics In my eyes I done seen some crazy thangs in the streets Gotta couple hoes workin on the changes for me But I gotta keep my game tight like Kobe on game night Like takin from a ho don't know no better, I know that ain't right Done seen people killed, done seen people deal Done seen people live in poverty with no meals It's fucked up where I live, but that's just how it is It might be new to you, but it's been like this for years It's blood sweat and tears when it come down to this shit I'm tryin to get rich 'fore I leave up out this bitch I'm tryin to have thangs but it's hard fo' a pimp But I'm prayin and I'm hopin to God I don't slip, yeah Man it seems like I'm duckin dodgin bullets everyday Niggaz hatin on me cause I got, hoes on the tray But I gotta stay paid, gotta stay above water Couldn't keep up with my hoes, that's when shit got harder North Memphis where I'm from, I'm 7th Street bound Where niggaz all the time end up lost and never found Man these girls think we prove thangs, leave a big head They come hopin every night, they don't end up bein dead Wait I got a snow bunny, and a black girl too You pay the right price and they'll both do you That's the way the game goes, gotta keep it strictly pimpin Gotta have my hustle tight, makin change off these women, yeah

Actually, the dance routine, which accompanied this song, and the female singer did quite well. NPR movie critic said that the entire movie depended upon this song being played throughout the song - the song acting as another character in the movie. Perhaps that's why it won?

Before I came back from dropping my daughter off at her friend's house I zipped by the video store, and returned Dark Waters, and tried to get a copy of Crash. There weren't any copies available. I didn't know at the time it was going to win Best Picture, but I had heard on CNN earlier today that it "had been picking up momentum", whatever?

Crash won best picture, but Broke Back Mountain took away several Oscar awards.

Reese Witherspoon took best actress, and gave a fine acceptance speech. Even had me clinching back those tears.

Jack Nicholson was quite the dude walking on stage to present Best Picture. If I could come back in the next life as anyone I guess I'd be O.K. with being Jack.

And Jon Stewart didn't blow it. CNN was running an online vote in recent days on whether people thought if Jon Stewart would screw the Oscar Awards Show up, which I thought was dumb. Jon's a very talented, and funny guy. He, and his spouse just had a baby last week, so I'm sure all he wants to do is give the awards, and get home to his wife, and baby - not create some controversy for making a political speech.

Oh yes, my daughter's friend's cat had six kittens.


PhotoSource & Lyrics:

None of the photographs, or Lyrics in this post were created by me. I'm sure they are all under copyright by their owners. They are not covered under my Non-Commercial Attribution Copyright. The use of such images is allowable under "FreeUse" copyright rules for educational, literary, and scientific purposes. Seek the owner's permission if you intend to use them outside of freeusage provisions - and certainly if you ever intend to make money from their usage.

Source Links:

Jon Stewart Photosource: www.msnbc.msn.com
Isaac Mizrahi PhotoSource: www.broadwayworld.com
It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp Lyrics Source: www.SmartLyrics.com: