Springfield, Illinois Struck By Swine Tornado Flu!

Springfield, Illinois Struck By Swine Tornado Flu!

It was the perfect storm!

Trouble Breathing Destructive Hail Sore Throat Deadly Lightning Fatigue High Winds High Fever

Find an interior room, wash your hands often, stay away from windows, cover your face - and eyes!

Dad I Passed LLCC Psy 101

Father-Bitch: So I guess you pretty much know what you got in your Psychology 101 class?

Daughter: I passed.

Father-Bitch: No, I mean your mother tells me you got a "D".

Daughter: Listen, all you ever do it put me down, and I'm tired of it, bitch.

Father-Bitch: Bitch?

Daughter: Yes, you're a bitch, all you ever do is put me down.

Father-Bitch: But if you can't get better than a "D" in Psy 101, then you're in real trouble.

Daughter: You're a horrible father. One day you'll see. I'll have stacks of money.

Father-Bitch: Well, you better start playing the lottery.

Daughter: That's exactly what I mean.

Father-Bitch: You need to start reading.

Daughter: I do read. I passed my remedial reading class.

Father-Bitch: Four years in the South East Health and Science Academy, and you can't read!

Daughter: It was the teacher's fault. She didn't know how to teach Psychology.

Father-Bitch: But this was intro to Psychology we're talking about, not Advanced Calculus!

Daughter: Just shut up. All you are is a hater.

Father-Bitch: Unless you're an athlete you can't graduate college without reading.

Daughter: I do read, but you never buy me any books.

Father-Bitch: But you're 18 now, and I've never so much as seen you reading a magazine!

Daughter: Magazines cost a lot.

Father-Bitch: But you have a part time job, and you could have bought at least one magazine.

Daughter: I do read.

Father-Bitch: Name one book you have read - just one, that's not a school book.

Daughter: [no response]

Father-Bitch: If you can't name a book, name an author, name your favorite author!

Daughter: [no response]

Father-Bitch: How about your favorite genre?

Daughter: Horror, I like horror.

Father-Bitch: You know what a genre is, oh thank God almighty.

Daughter: You're putting me down again.

Father-Bitch: But the truth is you spent the last three years pretending to be dumb.

Daughter: No I haven't.

Father-Bitch: Sure you have. You've stayed stoned as much as possible. Acting stupid.

Daughter: I don't get stoned every day anymore.

Father-Bitch: And you were always afraid of acting smart in class for fear of ridicule.

Daughter: I guess so.

Father-Bitch: Well, sending you to South East was like dipping you in cow shit for three years.

Daughter: What?

Father-Bitch: You went in a much better student, much smarter, than you came out.

Daughter: I didn't want to go there.

Father-Bitch: And now you have been ghetto-ized. You think, and act ghetto.

Daughter: Everyone smokes pot. I'm not white trash.

Father-Bitch: And gets lazy, and blames the consequences, poverty, on others - exactly!

Daughter: I'm not going to be poor.

Father-Bitch: I'd say one more bad semester and you'll be on academic probation.

Daughter: What?

Father-Bitch: And then you can go into debt paying for your "D"s.

Daughter: No I won't.

Father-Bitch: And then when you drop out, you'll be in debt up to your ears.

Daughter: I'll show you wrong.

Father-Bitch: Working at Hardee's for minimum wage wondering how you got to that place.

Daughter: If you know so much then why do you just sit on your butt all day at work!

You Must Believe

You Must Believe
by JeromeProphet

The things you must believe
Are growing in between
The lines of paper and ink
You blink your tears now

The heart inside you beats
But barely enough to speak
Or cast out the devil's keep
For you're asleep now

You followed what they've said
They're deep within your head
With Heaven's gate betrayed
You're running from the grave now

Like an opium cosmic dream
You scream and scream and scream
Relieved of all your scenes
You drift away now

No thoughts to bother you
No doubts to make untrue
This blissful interlude
And Death to carry you away now