Too Stupid & Poor To Be Prepared

An Actual Conversation

Husband: I see you have a flashlight there next to the bed, where's that rubber coated flashlight? Where's my favorite flashlight?

Wife: I haven't seen it in a long time.

Husband: No, that's my favorite flashlight, it has to be around here somewhere.

Wife: I'm not really sure.

Husband: But I've seen you use it, where did you put it the last time you used it?

Wife: I think it's in the utility room, but it doesn't work anymore.

Husband: Doesn't work? What do you mean? I have a spare light bulb, and some batteries.

Wife: Here it is, but it doesn't work. It's broken.

Husband: Broken?

Wife: Yes, there's something wrong with the switch at the bottom.

Husband: How did this happen? It's a really rugged flashlight with a heavy rubber coating?

Wife: There must be other flashlights around the house. Why don't you go and look?

Husband: But I've had this one for years. It's totally rugged. It's my favorite.

Wife: Do you want to know the truth?

Husband: What are you talking about?

Wife: I'll tell you the truth.

Husband: What did you do?

Wife: I couldn't find a hammer, and I was trying to fix one of the oscillating fans..,

Husband: You what! You used my flashlight as a hammer?

Wife: What about that really big flashlight? The one that's really bright?

Husband: That's a spot light, not a flashlight. It would last for about a half hour!

Wife: Well then why'd your brother give it to you in the first place?

Husband: Don't think it's going to be that easy. You owe me a flashlight for Christmas.

Wife: O.K. fine. We'll put it on the list.

Husband: But we need a flashlight right now with this bad weather coming.

Wife: Sorry, you don't get paid until later this week.

Husband storms out of bedroom muttering swear words under his breath.

NOTE: Husband didn't even ask why his spouse would be using a "hammer" to fix and oscillating fan, but that's a conversation for another day I guess.