Wednesday, March 19, 2008

What About Dave?

A recent post on TEH:

Eosinophilic Esophagitis is Teh Bad

Reason 452 why my life hasn't been entirely fabulous (despite what a grossly uninformed and judgmental "friend" thinks): I have Eosinophilic Esophagitis. I've suffered with it for a long time and am now, finally, getting some good treatment for it.

I wish this on no one, it can be hell.

Of course, this thing will not prevent me from laughing at the self-proclaimed Po' Man over gas prices while simultaneously being a bad parent, bad blogger, bad voter, owner of an evil truck, occasional typo scofflaw, someone completely undeserving of my income or the home in which I live, racist white-flighter, etc, etc. Cuz, you know, I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth.

Note: Sorry about that last paragraph but I'm using my blog (arrogantly and because I'm filthy rich) to call someone whose been acting like a complete asshole lately an, well, asshole. I'm sure he can take as well as he dishes. Apologies sincerely welcome.

Update: Yes applying for sympathy before going on the counter-attack is a cheap ploy but this blog, like the Bush administration, is not bound by the Geneva Convention.

1 comments Links to this post


Jerome: What do you have to say for yourself Mr. Prophet?

Prophet: About what?

Jerome: You know damned well what, about the post above by TEH!

Prophet: Well, I'm happy, very happy for Dave.

Jerome: You're happy? You're happy that Dave has an incurable disease?

Prophet: No, that he said he's found a treatment.

Jerome: Well that's pretty odd isn't it?

Prophet: Odd?

Jerome: Why pretend? I mean it's obvious you are not really a friend at all.

Prophet: That's a pretty rude thing to say, where do you come off saying that?

Jerome: Did you actually read his post?

Prophet: Well, let me take another look. Let's see he's obtaining a new treatment for a chronic disease, and.., and.., and.., WTF?

Jerome: Exactly you, you, "friend"!

Prophet: That is one of the oddest things I have ever seen in my life.

Jerome: How so?

Prophet: Well, he starts off talking about a disease he has, but uses the post to slam me?

Jerome: It is after all his Blog, and he has the right to do anything he wants you bastard!

Prophet: Still it's odd, isn't it?

Jerome: I'll be the one asking questions here!

Prophet: O.K.

Jerome: So why is he saying you said all those horrible things about him?

Prophet: Well, you notice he provides no citation?

Jerome: So what?

Prophet: It's a joke! He's joking. He's always had a funny sense of humor.

Jerome: Right. I'd say he's just liberated himself from a fake friend!

Prophet: One would have thought he'd have sent me an email, or called me.

Jerome: This is a public forum here. Blogging is very much the way to end it!

Prophet: Well, I guess. It's not how I'd have done it.

Jerome: That's the difference between being a fake friend and a real friend.

Prophet: What's that?

Jerome: I told you, I'd be the one asking questions here.

Prophet: Then ask me a damned question!

Jerome: Testy now aren't we? You feeling pretty bad are you?

Prophet: Well yes I am. I really liked Dave, and for many years too.

Jerome: Then why did you post all those horrible things about Dave?

Prophet: That's just it, I never did.

Jerome: Right! You stinking ugly liar! Do you think Dave would lie about this?

Prophet: No.

Jerome: Then why would he say these things?

Prophet: He's gone mad?

Jerome: Next time you ask a question we'll end this interview.

Prophet: Well he did say he was on some new medication.

Jerome: I've had enough of this. You only prove your guilt with every word.

Prophet: Well long ago when Dave and I were "friends" he had a sense of humor.

Jerome: So you admit you were just "friends"?

Prophet: No I just used the "" to emphasize my disappointment, I feel betrayed.

Jerome: You feel betrayed?

Prophet: Yes. It's like bizzaro world or something. To see this kind of allegation.

Jerome: Well let's look at what he alleges then - we'll prove what you've done!

Prophet: Go right ahead, because if I've done those things well maybe I'm insane.

Jerome: Did you, or did you not recently post on backyard swimming pool accidents?

Prophet: Yes.

Jerome: And was it not about Dave?

Prophet: Well, not entirely. Some of it actually.

Jerome: Ha! You bastard! You made up that horrible story about knowing someone, that their children drowned just to stab at Dave!

Prophet: No! I actually did work with a couple who lost a little girl, and nearly lost their son!

Jerome: But why for God's sake use that story to publicly embarrass Dave?

Prophet: I never even mentioned him by name.

Jerome: Surely others in the blogging community would know who you were talking about?

Prophet: How?

Jerome: You wrote about visiting an old friend and his son didn't you?

Prophet: No, I changed all of that.

Jerome: Then how in the hell did the blogging community find out?

Prophet: Dave came out and made a big deal about it, acting all insulted.

Jerome: Still, you wrote the post - and your intent was to hurt Dave!

Prophet: No. Actually, I wrote the post because I care about Dave's son.

Jerome: Bloody Bastard! You've never been anything but a "Friend" so stop it!

Prophet: O.K.

Jerome: And you called Dave a racist!

Prophet: Well, I guess.

Jerome: You admit this?

Prophet: Well I've made myself pretty clear from all of my post about race that I believe everyone is.

Jerome: A racist?

Prophet: Yes.

Jerome: Well, any good American would dump your ass right there. Dave's not a racist!

Prophet: Whatever.

Jerome: You smug bastard, what I'd love to do if only I could! And what about gas prices?

Prophet: I don't even know what that means!

Jerome: Sure you don't. You recently wrote about gas prices!

Prophet: Yes.

Jerome: So there! Yet another one!

Prophet: I'm totally lost now.

Jerome: Yes you have lost, and what a friend he was too.

Prophet: This is all a bit confusing.

Jerome: You're telling me?

Prophet: Look the Dave I knew loved a good conversation, and some disagreement.

Jerome: You fool. You never knew Dave at all. Blogging isn't about dialog it's about..,

Prophet: But it is a dialog. It's just another part of life, and life is about learning from..,

Jerome: Your mistakes?

Prophet: Yes. I say some things to piss Dave off, but he gets all pissed about it.

Jerome: Well what did you expect?

Prophet: I didn't post about the swimming pool to piss him off, but he needs a bit of a kick.

Jerome: How so?

Prophet: Well, blogging is in my mind a lot like MASTURBATION!

Jerome: You disgusting pervert!

Prophet: No seriously, we're all out here in our little worlds doing it alone.

Jerome: Gross!

Prophet: But in a way even though we're doing it alone we want to believe we're not.

Jerome: What a warped little mind you have. But what does this have to do with Dave?

Prophet: I've noticed that Dave does his blog like a radio talk show.

Jerome: And?

Prophet: He throws out topics, and waits for callers.

Jerome: And?

Prophet: Well if he never gets a comment it's sort of like..,


Prophet: Well yes, but no more than other bloggers.

Jerome: So what's your point?

Prophet: To make the show more interesting it's always good to get someone to call in.

Jerome: And?

Prophet: Disagree.

Jerome: Disagree?

Prophet: I thought Dave knew that.

Jerome: You bastard! Don't you tell us what Dave should know!

Prophet: Well, I've come to believe Dave doesn't take criticism very well.

Jerome: Who in the hell does?

Prophet: There are some accusations he made that are totally off the wall.

Jerome: Are you saying he has a thin skin?

Prophet: I'm saying he's warped many post into being about him when they weren't.

Jerome: So he's thin skinned, and wrong?

Prophet: Well not entirely. But it's obvious he's made a decision he needs to justify.

Jerome: Or a just decision!

Prophet: I suspect if I were black and I made a comment about whites he'd take it personally.

Jerome: Many would.

Prophet: Because it seems to me that if I write about the upper middle class he believes I'm writing about him - personally.

Jerome: Perhaps he should? Maybe that's how you're sticking it to him!

Prophet: Or if I talk about people living on his side of town he believes I'm talking about him.

Jerome: It's understood. You're just jealous of him!

Prophet: Or even if I talk about a social phenomena, like white flight, I'm talking about him.

Jerome: Certainly! That's because you are a "friend" you bastard!

Prophet: Maybe so, but I'm the same bastard I always was.

Jerome: Then maybe Dave's changed, and he's done with you?

Prophet: Maybe. I rarely see him. So I don't really know.

Jerome: Whose damned fault is that?

Prophet: Now that's a can of worms I won't open.

Jerome: It's you're fault isn't it? Just admit it!

Prophet: O.K. It's my fault. And it's had a chilling effect over the years.

Jerome: You're uncomfortable saying that?

Prophet: I can't really even discuss why I don't visit Dave. I'd see him on neutral ground if possible.

Jerome: This interview is over. You're fake, fake, fake, fake fake!

Prophet: Agreed. I am indeed.

Jerome: Just one last thing.

Prophet: What?

Jerome: Why now? Why not before Christmas?

Prophet: Christmas?

Jerome: Yes, Christmas.

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