Thursday, April 06, 2006

I'm Just So Tired


Photo: Tree Limbs Torn By Tornado - Jerome, Illinois 4.4.6


Tonight was one of those nights where I would have gladly cut a deal with the Devil. If I could have just had a little longer nap life would have become tolerable. Last night's thunderstorms managed to wake me up several times. I'm still a little on edge, more so than I rationally believe that I should be.

For years I never really took a late night thunderstorm seriously - except for the booms of thunder I never really cared - I'd simply roll back to sleep. Then over the course of four weeks the metro area I live in was visited by at least four official tornados - with "unofficial" eyewitness reports of several more.

And so I listen.

Listen to the thunder.
Listen to the wind.
Listen for the cracking of tree limbs.

Listen for the sirens.

Listen for the swirling of the tornado dropping out of the sky upon my little piece of the Earth.

Listening instead of sleeping has consequences - mainly sleep deprivation. Not getting enough sleep is neither new, nor is it rare for me. I have lived with it on a day to day basis for most of my adult life. So many of us live in a semi zombi state in this modern world.

Sleep Deprivation is the consequence of getting wrapped up in work, rushing home and paying your dues to the family. And then, only at that last moment just before you should actually be going to bed realizing that you have spent too little time decompressing.

Too little time spent on just being yourself - without a manager, a spouse, a child, or a clock telling you what you should be doing.

Exhaustion vs. Recreation at Midnight?

Wife: What are you doing?
Me: Just taking a nap.
Wife: Well alright, but only for twenty minutes.
Me: How about a half hour?
Wife: O.K., but you're pushing it.
Me: Just let me sleep.
Wife: You know you have to get up, and run out to Walmart!
Me: Yes, I know.
Wife: You have to get a basketball stand for your daughter, did you forget?
Me: No, just let me sleep.

But a half hour nap isn't always enough some evenings, and so here I am now late into the evening at this computer typing away, and for God only knows what purpose - because one has not come to me yet.

I'm writing for the attainment of sheer exhaustion.

Blogging it's the new sensation.
Blogging it's the new sedation.

And I had so much to say, but sleep seems just so nice.
Yes, blogging is the new sedation - indeed.

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