Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Bush's Last Shin Dig

Bush walks up to the podium.

This is the Republican National Convention.

The crowd goes crazy!

They are the faithful.

They are the true americans!

Cheering for their beloved king!

They won't let him speak!

He smiles.

He winks.

He steps away from the podium.

He speaks to Laura.

She smiles.

She nods.

With a tear in her eye.

Get the close up!

On three!

She is so proud of her man.

He walks to the edge of the stage.

And points.

He's a people's man.

He knows em.

He swaggers back to the podium.

They won't let him speak!

He steps away again.

He looks out upon the sea.

Red.

White.

Blue.

Bush Signs.

They love him.

He is our hero!

He saved us!

Ten minutes later.

He makes it back to the microphone.

They told everyone only ten minutes.

He makes his joke.

They laugh.

And laugh!

Can you believe how funny that joke was!

He's so witty!

He's such a wonderful man!

If only we could keep him in office.

For another four years!

The crowd begins chanting "Four More Years! Four More Years!"

He seems prepared.

He's so clever.

Another Joke.

This one self deprecating.

Laura told him it's time.

Time to spend more time doing something important.

Like common folk do.

On the ranch!

Yes, the ranch!

He's a people's man!

He was just like Reagan!

Off into the Texas sunset!

Our hero.

Our cowboy.

They laugh, and laugh again.

He begins to speak again.

They hush now.

This is important!

The Republicans saved America in a troubled time.

No mention of Iraq will be made - it was decided.

No mention of Osama Bin Laden either - it's for the best.

The nation will still be at war.

In Iraq.

Five thousand U.S. war dead.

Fifty thousand wounded.

A half trillion dollars spent on Iraq.

And a raging civil war.

The borders, and ports of the U.S. will still be undefended.

The crowd will chant "Four More Years, Four More Years".

For exactly four minutes.

That's the secret.

Timing is everything.

Go to two!

Go to two for the close up!

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