Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Representative, Please Slow Down!


Generic 2006 Red Toyota Corolla

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Speed Racer - Go Speed Racer!

I'll admit it, I was doing forty five miles per hour as I often do on my daily drives to, and from work. Everything seemed fine until along comes "Speed Racer" flying down Macarthur like a bat out of hell!

I first noticed your radical driving in my rear view mirror just about where the McDonald's is. I guess I'm an aggressive driver because I deliberately slowed down just enough to box you in using the car to my left. Don't risk my life you moron!

The light at Ash brought everyone to a stop.

By the time the light changed to green, I decided I wanted to get home more than I wanted to play games with you, and so I brought my old clunker up to forty five, and let you out of the box.

You took the bait, and once again you darted dangerously in front of the car to my left. You then zoomed past me like I was standing still. I dropped back, and let you win your race.

I estimated that you were driving at between sixty five, to seventy five miles per hour when I saw you last zooming down Macarthur toward the Wabash intersection.
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I noticed your plates

Red late model Toyota Corolla with plates, "US 72 House", or maybe it was "House 72 Representatives" using a larger than normal bluish license plate.

You probably never get speeding tickets. The cops probably don't even stop you anymore.

I guess you figure that if you drive like that on the highway that it's acceptable to drive like that in Springfield, Illinois? You're probably right we're only voters. If you killed one of us the judge would give you a slap on the wrist, and then meet with you afterward at the country club for a round of golf..
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4 comments:

19 said...

A friend of mine works at a local business - the kind where you order something to have it delivered to someone else (or maybe even yourself). It's a friendly business with a product that makes the giver and receiver happy. The people who work there are normally very happy and accommodating. The friend informed me today that the calls they're getting from these people and their agents over the last few days are horribly rude. Their mean behavior makes it difficult to be pleasant.

JeromeProphet said...

19,

Right?

The man with one red shoe is your contact.

Repeating.

The man with one red shoe is your contact.

JP

JeromeProphet said...

19,

I don't mean to be sarcastic, it just happens.

Forgive my last comment, I was trying to be funny.

Here's what I meant, "I'm not sure what you mean?".

JP

P.S. Ignore the man with one red shoe - he is not your contact. Repeating, Ignore the man with one red shoe - he is not your contact.

allie said...

a majority of people dont know how to operate their vehicles properly. i didnt get a car until i was 22, but having spent so much time as a passenger i really got the chance to observe peoples driving abilities. i frequent chicago, and i have to say they are far worse there, but i expect more out of the people in springfield, even if youre only passing through.

email jp

  • jeromeprophet@gmail.com

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